Ding Ding! Round 2!

So, it's 2010.  I know we're only 9 days in, but so far, so good!

We're gearing up for round 2 of baby makin'.  All set at the new clinic.  Loved my doc at Stanford, but here's the deal....Our insurance covered 50% of the first cycle and that's it.  We're on our own now.  Stanford only offers a 15% disount for self pay patients, so we're outta there.  The new clinic has similar success rates and has numerous financing options. We don't wanna burn thru all our liquid assets so we'll finance part of it at a super low rate. Lower even than going thru our credit union. It's ridiclous how much one can spend trying to get knocked up.  Like buying a luxury automobile expensive.  If we have a girl, we're going to name her Mercedes. So long Stanford!  It was nice knowin' ya.

The new clinic is actually not brand spankin' new to me.  I saw a doc there in May 2008.  Nice guy, but something about him made me uneasy.  I recently received a letter announcing his retirement.  Maybe it's someone's way of telling me it's time to go back. My new doc is fabulous!  I really, really like him.  We're on the same page about nearly everything and I just have a good feeling about him.  Also, a dear friend of mine works for the clinic and has made sure everyone is super nice to me!  Good to have someone on the inside.

I have a few tests to do that are cycle dependent, so we'll get those finished up in February and be ret ta go by late Feb, early March at the latest.  March sounds good to me.  I love when it starts warming up.  Everything is fresh and new.  Upon spring's arrival, I am always full of hope and imagine the possibilities for the remainder of they year.  We need a bass player and a singer for a full Team Martz/Rock Band/Burning Christmas complement, so we need to get on it!  We're ready to roll here, people!

On another note, I'm gonna be 40 next month!  Can you believe that sh*t??? If you say you can, I'm gonna make the light go off in your face! :-P

Holiday Recap

It's been a wild and wooly holiday season.  Christmas Eve at my parent's house was great.  I know my mom was thrilled to have all her children around her for the holiday. Lots of laughs and reminiscing. My brother said something that sounded EXACTLY  like our Dad.  It's always funny to me to see how the old man has rubbed off on us :)

Christmas Day at home with HB was fabulous.  We woke up and put on the matching, red plaid footie pajamas I got us, grabbed a Santa hat and commenced to openin' gifts. He got me Rock Band! Wooo hooo!  Best gift EVER!!!! We played it on and off all day and all night. Our dear bud and neighbor, M, came over and played.  It was hilarious!!! I damn near peed my pants, we were all laughing so hard!! In between sets, we made a delicious prime rib (our best yet), Yorkshire pudding and my special brussel sprouts. Absolutely divine. 

Over Christmas week, I had a variety of symptoms including dizziness and sore boobs.  HB was kind enough to feel me up and report they were bigger too!  I suspected this was because of all the progesterone I was shovin' where the sun don't shine. I was right.  We got the official word yesterday that we are not knocked up :( So, New Year's Eve was not the celebration we hoped for, but we made it through.
Upon hearing the news, HB held me tight, then brought me booze...at 10:45am.  I pretty much sulked in bed all day. HB brought me booze in bed too, which was kinda cool!  Though I am a complete lightweight now. Ruined! Took me forever to finish a beer.  I was afraid I was going to conk out after 1/4 glass.
 HB made a kick ass dinner, spaghetti with crab in a truffle cream sauce.  We also had a lovely 2007 Chateauneuf du Pape Blanc. I swear I had a hangover BEFORE I went to bed.  I felt great this morning though.

Though our year ended on a suck a** note, at least we can leave it behind and start fresh in 2010 with re-newed hope. I KNOW Team Martz will have a new member in 2010. Our dream WILL come true.  We knew this might take multiple attempts and we are down for it. Battle to the finish. As I sit here in my footie pajamas with my man and my 2 fur babies, I feel blessed. Here's to a fantastic 2010!  May we all get what our hearts desire!!!!

A Sign

I forgot to mention....When I walked out of the room after my first acupuncture appointment of the day, a song came on the radio by a jazz artist my dad loved.  So much so, he bought me the cd years ago.  I haven't listened to it in awhile, but whenever I hear it, it always makes me think of Pop. Seems like it was his way of letting me know he was with me today:) I so hope to be bringing a little piece of him into the world in 9 months.

We Are Three

Had a nice relaxing weekend recovering from the retrieval.  Yesterday was especially nice seeing that I took a shower, but then stayed in my robe all day and all night! HB and I had a toast last night to celebrate the little embryo that could.  My toast:  To the miracle awaiting us tomorrow.  His toast: To baby mama and baby daddy. LOL!!! 

I felt like I was going to Disneyland.  Couldn't wait to go to sleep so this day would come. I woke up early this morning with the game plan in mind, acupuncture, embryo transfer, more acupuncture. It then dawned on me I forgot to pick up our Chrimmus prime rib from the German butcher, so I dashed out to do that before my first appointment.

I got there a few minutes before opening at 9am and was 3rd in line.  It was 9:15 by the time I got outta there. I dashed off to my 9:30 appointment, but BLIMEY! There'a  HUGE accident on the freeway. It took me 30 minutes to get about 4 miles. I was late for my appointment, but fortunately, I had a cushion. After my appointment, I slammed water so my bladder would be nice and full for the procedure. Off I go. I pulled into the clinic parking lot just after HB. He gave me a huge smile and asked, "You ready to get knocked up??!"

The procedure was NOT fun.  Very uncomfortable, but when it was over, I felt like a million bucks. Especially when we were presented with a picture of our lil embryo. I'm feeling very peaceful and content. For now, and hopefully forever, We Are Three.

The Last Egg Standing

Egg retreival went about as expected yesterday.  While in recovery, the embryologist informed me 2 eggs were retrieved, 1 was mature.  She said they would still incubate the immature egg for a bit to see if it made a difference and they would perform ICSI (a single sperm is injected into each egg) on both.  So then I saw HB in the waiting area and he said baby doc came out and told him both eggs looked grainy.  Huh??? Here I was thinking we had at least one good one then I hear this!  I didn't know what to think after that. I went to acupuncture and tried to chill out.

I felt okay after the procedure, but when I woke up from my long nap, I felt crampy and bloaty.  I got out of bed and felt a sharp twinge of pain. Ouch.  I was well cared for though and had the BBQ Chicken salad I was craving delivered to me by wonderful friends :) 

My phone rang in the late afternoon.  I saw the clinic # on my caller ID. My heart jumped into my throat.  I thought they were calling to tell me both my eggs were busted. Turned out to just be an automated appointment reminder.  A reminder for the embryo transfer appointment I wouldn't need if our embryos didn't make it.

 I had a feeling of dread, of uncertainty and was having a hard time shaking it.  All I wanted was to sleep thru the night and get the fert report  the next morning. I woke up pretty early and stared at the clock wondering when I'd get the call. 2 hours passed and the call came.  "Please verify your name and date of birth", the nurse asked.  She didn't sound all full of pity, so I wasn't immediately alarmed. "JUST TELL ME!!!" I wanted to scream.  She then informed me our 1 mature egg fertilized normally.  I was shocked.  The other egg showed some chromosomal abnormalities. So, we have a contender.  If it continues to develop properly, embryo transfer will be Monday. I feel like I was able to breathe for a moment, but now I'm stressing about making it to the next stage. I'm trying to chill out, as stress is a no no.  I pray this little embryo thrives.  We're counting on you, little one!

And Then There Was One

Had my final ultrasound yesterday.  The 2 contenders were measuring 16.5, the 2 late bloomers 9. Doc had me take one more dose of Follistim and Menopur last nite (had to shoot up in a restaurant bathroom!!) to get the leads to 18.  Took my last dose of Ganirelix this morning and now, there’s just one more, the trigger shot at 9:30 sharp tonite.  Egg retrieval is this Friday at 8:30.

It all kinda hit me yesterday as I waited pant-less (and bloomer-less) for doc to come in. I texted HB, “OMG.  I can’t believe we’re doing this.” He wrote back, “Ur about to become a Mommy.” Was the most beautiful thing he’d ever said to me, other than the kick ass proposal. Hopefully we are about to start an amazing new journey together.  I’m feeling so optimistic and joyful.

Finally made it back to work yesterday after my week long pain-a-palooza. Been fun breaking the engagement news.  Be even more fun to hit ‘em with the baby news soon too!

I ordered a Chrimmus tree skirt from Pottery Barn today.  I had “The Martzes” embroidered on it. We’re gonna be The Martzes!! I can’t wait! I nearly flubbed by typing "The Martzs".  As soon as I typed it, I just stared at it thinking it was totally wrong and re-typed.  Good thing my grammaratical knowledge clicked in before I proceeded to checkout. I should not be allowed to become part of the Martzes if I cannot properly spell it.

Hopefully the Worst is Behind Me

Despite being over the moon happy the past few days, I've felt like I'd been thrown under a bus. I think the pain I've experienced this past week has been worse than any post op pain I've had. I didn't get more than an hour or so of sleep at a time for 5 nights.  Ack. Did alot of crying and SCREAMING in the middle of the night.  Didn't think I could stand it.  My neighbors probably heard all the ruckus and thought we were having wild sex!!!

I was awakened at 4am to discover Domino walking around on the nightstand.  After scolding her, I glanced at the clock and realized that I'd gotten 5 solid hours of sleep!!!! Woooo hooooooo! Glorious!
Began shot #4 this morning to prevent ovulation prior to retrieval. My poor belly is battered and bruised.
 As of yesterday's ultrasound, follicle-wise, I have 2 strong contenders and 2 late bloomers that most likely will not catch up.  But what have I said so many times?? IT ONLY TAKES ONE!  Retrieval should be on Wednesday if all goes as planned. Vag cam tomorrow morning to confirm.

Are you all ready for Chrimmus??  I'm not!  However, the season is definitely on cuz I saw Black Santa the other day.  Who is Black Santa? Well, let me tell you....There's a huge house on University Ave that has a gigantic Santa on the porch every year. Must be at least 9 feet tall.  Was driving past a couple years ago with HB and my 2 cousins.  One of them asked incredulously, "Is that a black Santa???" (Palo Alto is pretty milk toast)  I took a look and replied, "Oh no, girl.  I think the light just went off in his face." We roared with laughter!  Every now and then I come up with a good one ;-)  Afterwards, making the light go off in someone's face became a euphemism for jackin' someone up. So, the next time someone pisses you off, tell them you're going to make the light go off in their face!!! If they don't look scared, tell them they should!! Oh, so Black Santa has reappeared, so Chrimmus must be comin'!

Happy to report pain was minimal today (controlled by 2 or 3 Tylenol) compared with the past 5 days. I'm exhausted and hoping to get a full night's sleep tonight. I thought I might make it to the 8:30 yoga class tomorrow, but I'm going to roll outta bed when I'm good and ready.  I think I really need the rest. If I happen to wake up and can't get back to sleep, I'll go.  Otherwise, I'm going to do what my body dictates.
HB referred to me as his fiancee today and for some reason it just cracked me up!  In a giddy way of course.  Just unreal. And I can't stop staring at this sparkly thing on my finger.....Which I've worn every day and night even when I was oogly, completely unpresentable and bedridden.