Angel

Thursday night, I got the call that the daughter of one of our close NICU buddies was not expected to make it through the night. I knew that she had troubles, but I was so not expecting this. Friday morning, I got word from her Mom that she made it through and seemed to be stable. I hoped it was the miracle we all prayed for. I couldn't get to the hospital fast enough. When I got there, her parents were at her bedside and their beautiful girl, Nanu, was already deteriorating. She wasn't going to make it.

We became very close to Nanu's parents as well as the parents of little Santiago. We walked the walk together, supported and consoled one another during some of the scariest times of our lives. We called our babies the Three Amigos and the Three Musketeers. We were bonded for life. We talked about how our children would grow up together and we'd recall how we'd been to war together. We knew we'd all get to the other side and all the fear and pain our babies and we suffered would be a distant memory. How could this have happened? My heart is aching and I just can't come to terms with this.

Instead of shutting down, Nanu's parents allowed me and others to spend Nanu's final hours at her bedside. What a show of grace under such terrible circumstances. It was a privilege and an honor I will never forget. Precious girl. She opened her eyes and looked right at her Mommy when her name was called. She held my finger. She was beautiful. This little girl touched so many lives and that was evident yesterday. So many came by to sit with her. Doctors and nurses on their days off came in. Nurses from other units came in. It was such a beautiful display of love and kindness. At 4:15, I said good bye to Nanu. By 5, our raven-haired angel, our tiniest Musketeer, was gone.

This morning, I am still reeling. I can't even comprehend the searing, devastating pain our friends are feeling. Whatever I imagine it to be, it has to be far worse. Please keep them and their family in your thoughts and prayers. I just don't know how anyone moves on from this.

Nanu, sweet girl, you are forever enmeshed in our hearts. Sam will know you were his friend. We will never, ever forget you. You are so, so loved.