Father's Day

Feels like a looong time since I last posted. It's been another crazy week. One where I felt like time was always getting away from me. Well, this always happens. This past week was just particularly bad.

Sam has had ups and downs in the last 9 days, but is still doing great. The sprinting experiment failed. He did really well for a while, but his little lungs just pooped out. He was placed back on CPAP solely to give him time to recover. The doc decided to try again yesterday, 3 hours on, 3 off. He's doing much better this time and his time on the cannula has been upped to 6 hours. Way to go, Sammy!

I pointed out a little baby to Steve the other night. She was 2lbs 11oz at birth. I can't believe Sam weighed almost a pound less than her when he was born!!! Still blows my mind. Especially since our little dude just busted FOUR POUNDS!!! Yes, indeedy! Our boy is growing like a weed!

Little man had his first eye exam on Friday. This was mainly to check for any unusual growth of the vessels, which can cause retinal detachment. Did I tell you this already? Forgive me if I'm repeating myself. Anyhoo, the eyes all of a sudden scream, "Oh crap! I'm suppose to be seeing now! I gotta make these blood vessels grow!" The vessels can grow too quickly and thickly and pull on the retina. Bam. Blindness. The doctors are hyper vigilant about this and will check his eyes every week. If the unusual growth occurs, a tiny laser will be used to cauterize the vessels to halt growth. This may cost Sam a tiny bit of peripheral vision. Friday's check showed nothing unusual at this point. Yay! We'll see how he does next week.

Sam's eye's have been puffy for a while and some redness appeared. A culture was done, which came back positive for MRSA, a type of staph infection that's resistant to many antibiotics. The contamination level is rated 1-4. Sam's was a 1. Half the population has MRSA growing on them, so not all that unusual, but like any infection, can be bad for those with compromised immune systems. They aren't even sure if it's a true positive because the bacteria itself could've come from Sam's face, not his eye. Or it could be someone or something that touched him. Our concern was the infection traveling to other parts of his tiny body. All his bloodwork was unremarkable and showed absolutely no signs of infection or inflammation, so it's definitely localized to the eye. He's getting antibiotic eye drops in both eyes and a special ointment in one eye. His eyes looked so much better today. Perfectly normal, which you can see in the above pics. 2 infectious disease docs came by today and said he looked fantastic and they saw no need for additional work ups. Despite there being no cause for alarm, hospital policy dictates Sam be placed in isolation and will most likely remain there for 7-10 days. We are required to wear gowns and gloves when we visit. Unfortunately, we will have to cancel all visitors for the time being. We actually like that he's in solitary. It's less noisy and less risk of germy germs from other people coming in! And really, he's a famous baby. He should get a private room, right? :)

Speaking of being famous, Sam may have to get an agent any day now. He and I were recruited to be in a hospital training video about the importance of skin-to-skin contact aka kangaroo care. Now, every nurse in the NICU is going to see our little peanut!

Is it Father's Day or Fathers Day?

In some ways, I've really been looking forward to this day. In some ways not. I've purposely tried not to think about my Dad too much since Jr. was born. Too much highly emotional stuff to handle all at once. Then a couple of weeks ago, the Grandma of Sam's girlfriend across the way asked if she could say a prayer for Sam. Of course, we said yes. She joined us at his bedside and started a long prayer. When she got to the part about angels watching over him, I had a vision of my Dad standing over Jr.'s isolette. It wasn't one of those times where I felt him, like he was in the room and I could touch him. It was more like I was at a distance observing and saw him there. He was leaning over the bed as though he just wanted to make sure our little guy was okay. He was wearing his grey Addidas sweatpants with the black stripes down the side, his slippers and a white v-neck t-shirt like the ones he used to wear under his work shirts or at home when lounging. I wasn't afraid or alarmed. I felt comforted that he came to me in such a gentle way.

Afterwards, on the way to my car, something intoxicatingly fragrant hit my nose. I looked around and saw large beds of jasmine blooming. I wondered how I never smelled it before. It didn't all just bloom overnight. Then I recalled how much my Dad loved jasmine. He grew it at our house in San Jose when we were young, but could never get it to grow in Daly City. I had told Steve when we had the space, I wanted to plant some in my Dad's honor. It was kinda like my Dad shook me and reminded me not to let life's little pleasures and blessings pass me by while we are in the midst of all this madness. Now, instead of trying not to think of him, lest my head explode, I inhale the scent of the jasmine deeply every time I enter and exit the hospital, think of my Pop and smile. Every single day.

Sam got his Daddy a few things for Father's Day! I swear, that boy is so resourceful! He got a little "I <3 Daddy" onesie, some gummy bacon and a hard back cover of Go the F*ck to Sleep! Score! After our morning visit with the boy, we walked across the street for brunch at California Cafe. We sat outside, enjoyed a good meal and observed the families there. There was a little boy who was so proud to be shoving a straw up his nose. I completely cracked up and thought how we would be saying, "Hey! Cut that out!", to Sam before we know it as he tries the same tricks. I can't wait until Sam is big and strong enough to be a complete knucklehead who publicly embarrasses us!

Watching Steve become more a father each day has been one of the greatest joys of my life. My heart swelled when he said to his son, "Because of you, I get to be a Daddy." Crap. Here come the tears again.

I have got to give a shout out to all the peeps that have kept us fed as of late! Debbie, Kevin, Christina, The Yummys & Michael, you guys rock! Renee, a special thanks to you for your visit and all those you've recruited to pray for us. Dan, Wandah and Debbie thanks for coming by as well. Sam is happy to know he is so adored by so many wonderful people. Shauna, a HUGE thanks to you for getting our registry together. I was feeling completely overwhelmed. The thought of handling that on my own literally made me burst into tears. Tracy, thanks for the assist!

A special birthday wish to an angel named Ashlee. We love you, girl! Can't wait to see you next month! And Happy Birthday to Jo Jo! Tell him Martz #12 is doing great!

To all my loved ones out there missing your Dads today, my heart is with each and every one of you.